What To Do About Valentine’s Day When Your Relationship Is In Trouble

Once we’re past New Year’s Day, you can be certain store shelves are filling up with Valentine’s Day cards and candy. There’s no avoiding it. Little cupids with arrows remind us to bring on the romance to demonstrate our love and affection for our partner (or wanna-be-partner) or risk losing them.

But what if your relationship is in trouble? There’s a tiny romantic piece in all of us that knows Valentine’s Day is coming even if we’d just as soon forget it. You can’t ignore it, so maybe there’s a way to make it less uncomfortable.

Give Yourself A Break

Even if things feel awkward between you and your partner right now, there’s still an opportunity to celebrate Valentine’s Day in a manner that feels comfortable.

To begin, let’s separate the “Hallmark” idea of romance from the human need for love and affection. You (or your partner) may not feel romantic. Maybe you just had a huge fight; maybe you haven’t felt connected for months. But as humans, we’re wired to seek love and affection.

Call A Truce

Your relationship struggles won’t go away just because it’s February 14th, but it’s OK to let it rest for a day. Instead, reflect on past Valentine’s Days and express your gratitude for those better days. Talk about them. If you’re into cards, find a card that focuses not on romance, but on appreciation -- and even thanks -- for the love you’ve shared. If the store doesn’t have an appropriate card, grab a blank one and write your own verse.

Let your partner know they’re still in your heart, even if it’s hard to rekindle those romantic feelings right now. It’s just a day. And so is February 15th.